When is it OK to Spill Champagne?

Only when the following elements are present and alligned:

1. When you are a Mom of two terrible toddlers going through the terrible twos, despite being one and 3.
2. When you made the effort to get all dressed up and went for a nice lunch at a swanky Hong Kong restaurant.
3. When you get there you realise that your are not as glam as you thought you were, in comparison to the immaculate Size 0 Asian girls eating their no dressing salads.
4. You grin and bear it with your fellow Mummy mates, secretly wishing and noting that those skinny b1tches will get pregnant one day and their bodies will go south, their ankles will swell up, their feet will expand and never come back to size, their backs will be broken from carrying heavier boobs and kids around.
5. But you realise, that such maladies probably do not happen to girls like those who will be back in their microskirts in days after giving birth. You wish them cracked nipples and acne.
6. You go home and your kids, while delighted to see you and who tell you that you are beautiful are wild, cranky, noisy and destructive.
7. You decide to try and entertain them with a movie so you can try and have a chat with your friend.
8. The kids finally settle, so you pour yourself and your friend (a fellow Mum) a glass of bubbly.
9. It's just Bubbly wine, not even champagne.
10. Your 22 month old crawls into your lap to watch the movie.
11. You finally feel relaxed after a stressful day of trying to be chic.
12. Your toddler wriggles in your lap and knocks your champagne all over his own head and down your frock.

Only then is it OK to spill champagne and be allowed to laugh and cry as much as you want.

By request.